I have a dear friend who is a widow. Her widowhood, not surprisingly, has changed her and in turn has changed our friendship. I have searched high and low on the internet and was surprised to find little to no resources for friends of widows.
Endeavoring to understand what she is going through as much as possible I have taken to reading the blogs of many other young widowed ladies. Hearing their stories has helped me to understand a little bit more how to reach out to my friend in new ways but I still feel like something is missing.
Many of the widow blogs I have found are filled with tears and rants about how the widows’ old friends have forsaken her. This is so saddening to me.
Being the friend of a widow, I feel I understand a bit why friends would find it easier to stop being friends. It is hard to know what to do. It is hard to know how to support a friend as she walks the path of grief. But this is no excuse!
I began searching for was a place where widows would share with non widows how to help them, and where non widows could ask widows questions and get advice from them on how to be a better friend their widowed friends. Unfortunately I could not find a site like this.
So this is my attempt to make one. Comments are always welcome from any one, just please try to remain kind to one another. Rants from widows about what not to do are most welcome. I have found I need to be told what not to do about as much as I need told what to do.
I will be linking this blog to face book, and people can post/answer questions there as well. I’m hoping this will be a helpful resource for widows and non widows alike. For widows; to have a site they can point their clueless non-widowed friends to, so they don’t have to try and explain so much when they are having a rough day. And for non-widows; to have a place where they can go and read comments and posts from widows to greater understand what their widowed friends are going through and how they can help, as well as ask questions like “is it offensive to do/say_____”, or even “why was ____ offensive?”
I am hoping this site can be a bridge between widows and their non widowed friends, and can help save many friendship that are shaking in an already heart wrenching time.
<3
A friend
What a great idea! Your widow friends are lucky and blessed to have a friend like you. :)
ReplyDeleteThis is a really wonderful idea. I have quite a few friends and family members who would love to hear what others do in these circumstances. Thanks for caring so much about your friend (and the rest of us in the same boat) to do this. I have a blog about my experiences as a young widow (although I've neglected lately). If you need a guest writer at some point, let me know!
ReplyDeleteHi, Ferree & Wendy! I agree, this is a great idea!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Friend.
ReplyDelete— a Widow
As a widower, I want to say thank you so much for this site! I have frankly been shocked by much of what I have read on some GOW/WOW (Girlfriends of Widowers/Wives of Widowers) sites--THIS on the other hand is perfect! Just what the doctor ordered!
ReplyDeleteBottom line: Don't know what to do or say to help a widow or widower you care about? Ask us! We may not have an answer, but we'll sure know you care, and that makes ALL the difference!
Jay
thanks every one for your kind words of support! :)
ReplyDelete